The Truth about Divorce & Dating

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I don’t know how to date. It has been 15 years since I went on my last date, to say the landscape has changed would be a huge understatement. There are apps that you swipe if you find someone attractive, it is bizarre to say the least. Going on dates as a grown ass woman with a child is very bizarre. We all grew up with the values our parents the baby boomers instilled in us. Find partner, marry partner, have kids with partner, grow old and die with said partner.

Sometimes life has a different plan for us and we divorce the partner. People told me divorce was difficult, but there really should be a new word to explain it, because difficult isn’t even close. So, lets add the two things that are bizarre and difficult together at the same time, dating and divorce. Seems like a great idea!

It is all so different, you have kids they have kids and the schedules, OMG the schedules. It seriously takes some imagination to make a date happen. You ask… is this your weekend with the kids? Seriously hoping it isn’t because you are kid free and want to do something, literally anything. When schedules match up and you can actually go on a date it is like a fairytale, not the kind where there is a prince and princess. The kind where you get to go out without your child! Want to go to a concert on a Thursday? Sounds fun, and it is fun. But at the end of the day you are sleeping in bed alone.

That has taken some getting used to, having slept next to someone for over 14 years, you almost instinctively go to reach for them. The person, your person who you married, had children with suddenly isn’t your person anymore. The only conversations you now have with that person are about co-parenting. It’s weird as hell, like really seriously weird. I never knew my child having enough clothing at this house or that would be as big of an issue as it is. It is children clothing, why the hell does it matter? It doesn’t.

Nothing really matters except the well-being of your child, plain and simple. If they are okay you will be okay. Some days are worse than others, but at the end of the day just remind yourself there is a reason you left. There is someone out there that will treat you right, you just have to find him, and marry him. Kidding, just Kidding! Don’t know if I will ever get married again, at this point I can say there is no way, but you can never say never.

 

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