I’m about a year into my new life, no longer under someones control. No longer told what I can and can’t do. No longer am I having to beg for money to go to lunch with a friend. My life looks so different from a year ago, and a lot different from what I thought it would. When I left I didn’t have any particular idea of what it would look like. It was a fly by the seat of your pants kind of moment, that has landed me to where I am today.
As most people do when they leave a spouse, they go to their parents or a relatives house. My mother passed away about a year and a half before I left, so it was just my dad in our family home. The same family home they built when my mom was pregnant with me, the only family home I have ever known. I never in a million years thought I would live in this home again, much less without my mother.
After a bit of a rough start my son and I got comfortable and settled into our new home. Soon after is when my father told me he was moving to their second home in Nevada. He said it was just going to be part-time, 2 weeks there 2 weeks in La Costa. This seemed reasonable to me, and I was happy for my dad as his new girlfriend lives there.
Fast forward to him moving out around May, I expected to see him in a few weeks, this never happened. He came for maybe 48 hours a month later, and I realized this man, my father no longer lives here. He moved, and permanently. That for whatever reason hit me like a ton of bricks, I’m now living in my family home with no one in my family.
How did this happen? How did I end up where I started? Also was there anything wrong with this? Not many will complain about a house in La Costa, and believe me I’m not! I now live there with my son and I am constantly thinking of my mom. Of her making our beds when we went off to school. How did she do this with three kids? She was superwoman.
Currently working on an agreement with my father, so I can stay for another year at least and it makes it so final. This is where I live, where I’m going to live, where I am going to raise my son. It’s my childhood again and the only difference is it isn’t Susan Connerley making dinner and doing laundry its Nicole Connerley. I am loving every second of walking in my mothers footsteps. Who said you can’t go home again?