The Single Mom & Dating… Weird AF

Wow, the trials of being a single mom and dating, I had no idea things could get so complicated so quick. I left my husband of 12 years a few months ago. I was accused of first being a lesbian and then having multiple affairs with men, which of course neither are true. Had you told me then, that those were just the precursor to what would come I NEVER would have believed you.

Dating is weird, its difficult, its awkward, and what it isn’t is sexy. Literally the last thing I would think of when explaining dating would be sexy. Which is weird because the end goal is to meet someone you enjoy spending time with and eventually having sex. But dating is not what they write about in movies, Matthew McConaughey isn’t going to save you and then fall in love with you. I blame Hollywood, really what the hell? When I was in my 20’s stupid romantic movies were cute because I was young and dumb enough to believe that those things could actually happen. As a grown ass woman I now know not only do those things not happen it would be weird AF if they did. If I called a friend and told them a man saved my life and he was an attractive single doctor they would not believe me. Because that isn’t real life. Real life is dating a single dad, maybe he has older kids, maybe his kids are still young, maybe he is a weekend dad. But in every instance he isn’t a single attractive doctor saving your life, that is not real life.

Things can move faster when you are older, you know what you want, they know what they want and you are old enough to talk about it. That is all great and grand but when you are not honest with even yourself there will be a big problem. I thought okay I can date this guy and also date that guy, whats the harm? I’m not married, I’m single, which is a dangerous word to be honest. Somehow I convinced myself being single meant I didn’t have to be honest with even myself. Wherein lies the problem, how do we convince ourselves to do something we know we shouldn’t be doing? I started falling right back into the pitfalls of why I left my husband with a guy I dated for a while. Apparently I wanted to fall right back into my last relationship, where I was comfortable. But then I remembered this is my life, why am I again putting someone else’s needs before my own? The only person or rather little people who should and always will come first are children. No if ands or buts about it, children always come first, whether it be their children or yours, they come first.

Right now I am madly in love, the love that only happens once in a lifetime, he stole my heart. He is the sweetest soul I know and my life would be ruined forever if anything happened to him. I am lucky to have him, and that he calls me mom.